"I never had a dream come true until the day I found you." The lyrics of a music reminds me of a vision I first had in my mind after seeing a beach scene photograph in a fashion magazine a long time ago.
I'm searching for the ad's snapshot at this moment in the April 2008 Elle magazine that I had previously purchased at the Amazon website last fall in September 2012 inside a Fedex store.
There were so many magazines, in the past, that I had forgotten and couldn't remember precisely which magazine that I had seen him. "He's everything I want. He's everything I need." And here he is...the most gorgeous guy that I had ever seen. Absolutely "perfect."
Who is he? What is his name? Will I ever see him again? In another ad? He's running with a blonde, though. Sigh. That is the end of my "dream" thought of thinking about him again. But I will always remember seeing him in a black-and-white ad in a fashion magazine. Life goes on and I had putted him aside.
I stash the fashion magazine aside and focus on the time to write in this new "My Mind" blog. Think I'll rename this blog to Internally Garrett. I know who he is, amazingly. Recently. I can't believe. My fantasy is alive. He is online. I feel his presence every day. So it was him who had been online communicating. Thought he was a guy who isn't good. Bad. The same scary church brother who had seen me as an unattractive Asian female and planned to have me killed. The Black Dahlia murder. The model who looked like Steve, and I will not include his last name in the blog.
Thank God Garrett Neff is straight. Researched girlfriend. She sounds like me of having the same symptoms in regards to characteristic descriptions of...still searching. Found it the day before while I was on my Kindle Fire. However, at this time, as I'm searching for her "foreign" description, I unexpectedly located Garrett's Wilmington, DE telephone number and home address in the White Pages. Don't think I can call him yet. We don't know each other too well. Perhaps later? "Heaven is the moment I look into his eyes."
I seen him though, Garrett, before I did a lengthly research at trying to find him online. See if he is on the Internet. He has been in a lot of men magazines modeling. Along the way, I have wondered whether or not this handsome guy is the guy who stole my heart away when I first had seen him in the black-and-white 'running at the beach' ad.
And what is more bizarre is the fact that I was using him as a "friend" of mine who would stand by my side and be my friend while I post his current "ad" picture in my site at Twitter. A buddy to kind of protect me as I tweet and retweet tweets about a past church group that I had once been a member of from 1992 to 1996. Refer back to the brother whose real name is Steve.
And now I found him. Once again, his name is Garrett Neff. There are a lot of pictures of him, breathtaking ones, but haven't seen the 'running beach' ad that I had first seen him in a fashion magazine. The "ad" that had instantly caught my eye.
I'm moving along with my black cat Midnight to Wilmington, Delaware. The city where the model Garrett Neff had resided. To get closer to him and be a part of his life. See his hometown in person. Visit Wilmington University. Hang out in coffee houses. Become adjusted to a brand new life. Experience being in love to the vision that I had seen in the first ad, the black-and-white running beach scene or is this all a fantasy created in my mind? Maybe I'll meet someone new. Another guy just like Garrett. Can't think of Garrett as a boyfriend until...I don't know. He might turn out similarly as a brother named Jason who had been the worst. A delusional nightmare. I could only hope that talking to Garrett over the telephone would be different. He is friendly and not cold as in having a "grouchy" attitude such as "I don't know you" vibe.
What would happen? Never had sex so I don't know. Hum. Does he know that I'm old? Middle age. 45 years old. Turning a year older, 46, next year February. Sex for an older female who is considered to be a virgin is different for a female my age who isn't a virgin and already had sex. Hum.
So this "blog" is what I think of Garrett and what I want him to know about me and me wanting to know a lot more about him. We can go through the seasons and years together in the process of me trying to get out of debt, save money, and move. Hopefully Midnight will be okay on the airplane ride to the Philadelphia airport and the road drive home to Wilmington, Delaware.
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